Anonymous: Hey man! Big fan of your blog here haha Just really curious... I noticed in the screenshot of your Jack'd that you had 122 messages in your inbox. Why not just delete them or block the user?
I do that for a couple reasons. The main reason is that I’m lazy. There’s also a part of me that enjoys seeing how many messages I can accumulate. =P
My Saturday night plans seemed they were going to be better than my usual dull weekend activities. I had been talking for the past few days to an Aussie boy visiting Taipei, and he wanted to check out the gay scene. We seemed to click, so I agreed to take him out.
Little did I know that this night and the days to follow would unravel so quickly.
I chose Abrazo as our starting point. It’s one of the popular bars for the yuppie crowd. I waited for him to arrive outside, and we walked in together. After ordering drinks and having some small talk, we found a slightly less crowded pocket in the sea of gaysians. We stood next to the long table in the center of the bar.
I turn my head around towards the opposite side of the table, and there he was straight in front of me. I knew he was probably in Taipei already, but I was not expecting to see him here, to see him like this. I approached the side of the table, looked at him, and waited for him to notice me. As soon as our eyes met, I smirked and said, “Hey there stranger.”
He immediately smiled as made his way over to greet me. We hugged and indulged with small talk. He said he arrived less than a week ago, and that this was his first time out. He came with a local he met from Jack’d along with some of the guy’s friends. I then introduced him to my app boy. We continued to chat until he excused himself to use the bathroom.
I didn’t think I would feel this awkward about seeing him again. His mere presence was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I thought I was completely over him. After the way we ended things, I told myself he is someone that will hurt me. My uneasy reaction was a not so gentle reminded my heart and mind still have some issues to resolve.
The night continued. I felt it was somewhat necessary to give my Aussie friend the abridged version of my history with him. Another drink in and a few stories later, we both felt that it was time to leave to our next venue. I walked over to him and said that I was leaving. As we spoke he inched closer to me while both his hands began to play with the pockets of my shorts. I knew what he was trying to do. I politely peeled his hand off and made my way out. However, I left speaking a few too many drunken words and brought up topics I really shouldn’t have.
As my friend and I got into the cab, my phone started to buzz with messages from him about our last exchange. He wasn’t all that happy with what I had said. Briefly pulling my senses together, I apologized for bringing up the subject and offered to talk to him about it later. I’m fortunate I can be a functional drunk when the situation calls for it.
I enjoyed the rest of my evening to the fullest and most debaucherous extent. I will simply say that I ended the night with more than one achievement unlocked.
On Monday, I finally had a chance to meet up with my closest friend in Taipei. She had been busy with work and then went off to HK for the weekend. This was the first time I had seen her since going on vacation to the US.
I updated her on everything. I told her all about the wonders of the Electric Daisy Carnival. She had only been there once, when it was still in LA. I showed her the pictures and video I had taken. I regaled her with the stories from an unforgettable weekend, including my moments with him.
I summed up my feeling from my trip home and how those emotions had calmed. I told her that I decided to let things be for now. I knew clinging on to something that may not be there was unhealthy. If people are truly meant to be together, the universe will always find a way to align their paths. Plus, I can’t do much from over 6,000 miles away. Practicality has won this battle in my ongoing internal struggle between the quixotic and the pragmatic.
At the end of our conversation, I only remember her looking at me and smiling. “You know have this glow about you when you talk about him”.
"I know. I can feel it, " I replied casually. And in a voice of acceptance I added, "Even now he can still put that stupid dorky smile on my face" .